*breathes slowly* warning : rant

argh can you pls juz get it done and over with?
i cant bear the situation right now. its not juz a small adjustment, u make it like as if we are about to die tomoro.
becuz of ur constant pressure, i keep worryin about studies, food, studies, money, food, studies.
and can you atleast give me abit of privacy? at this age, do i still need restrictions from chatting on msn? do u need to constantly check up on me whether i've been chatting instead of doin my work? i proved to you that i was getting help from my uni frens regarding my assignments and then you keep saying that im only cheating myself. Cant you atleast FOR ALL THESE YEARS, acknowledge my independence. im very tired, very very tired of giving excuses so that im able to do what i want for once in a while.
i juz wanna move away, stay in some hostel or something till i finish my studies. juz wanna get away from u all for a while. juz let go...its not that hard to let go of me for a bit.
You decided almost every part of my life, leaving no will or decision of my own. and when chance passby, i hv to give it up becuz i dun wanna trouble u guys and then stay like an obedient dog and follow ur order.

shoot, now i hv flashbacks of moments when i was quite selfish. so i cant rant on since im feeling guilty for blaming them. wanna get all this out so i wun burst into tears and curse my life for being unfair *which was not true* sigh, i noe it happens all the time and everyone shud hv went through that part of life. i wan these heavy feelings to lessen so i can move forward.
omg, with all those worries, its as if im working to pay off debts or hving mid life crisis. lol, i sound really stupid now.
kinda decided that i will get a part time job or internship when i hv my long holidays. wanna really know wat its like to work and feel the satisfaction of earning that amount of money. partly cuz im oso inexperience at this age and really pampered, still spending alot of their money. so i will earn my own and spend it without feeling guilty. i'll still consider working if they oppose again. seriously, why stop someone who wans to get experience in working life? well, safety seems to be quite important in my case since i was told that im like a magnet? *im not pleased rather its very frustrating* so, i might go to work wearing baggy clothes and pants and a cap. mayb put alot of pimples on the face or something. lol thought of doin that last 2 weeks but it wun happen anyway.

sigh, pls pls pls storm go away.